Feb went faster than I thought and there were a lot of disruptions. Even fun things are sometimes disruptions to steady progress. Fun was part of the agenda , this year, but the fun last month was scheduled in advance so there was no time to pause and give time to other things. I hate being sick and it needs a lot of planning and discipline to avoid getting sick.
Good things:
Feb was disruptive in a good way because of vacation, but immediately by sickness too. Exercising, work, cooking - all the things that made me feel good was replaced by drinking water, resting and distracting myself with TV and mobile. The good news about Mar is work, cooking has progressed. Our health is getting better. D is also at a better place. I am still practicing distraction with way more instagram and netflix than is normal for me. I'd like to move away from this into Z time, exercise, driving.
CA progress.
Appa remembering people.
one day of dancing with Z.
One day of impromptu dancing turning out video-worthy and of course :D the uselessness of expecting other people's comments on it.
Sushmitha's class. The feeling of gravity in the leg. Donna Farhi. The feeling of wanting to learn more.
Rat's attempt at making chapathis instead of rotis just because I told him chapathis remind me of my mom's food. :)
Jinu Mariam's photos of Indian trips she takes and posts on the slack channel for creativity.
Few days of Scooter walks
cakes and chocolates in the fridge all the time. should I be guilty? :/
throwing away a box of ice cream. :/ should I be guilty?
table runners and ceramic trays.
A day chatting with my aunt and hearing about my grandma who I've never met. I always taught she was a calm person, but got to know she was ambitious and wanted to learn more and also seemed like she did not have the space to do so. She was passionate about learning about medicine and seemed like she felt neglected and took it to heart. Also about how thatha was at the hospital during one of the weddings and it was hard to get the funds out and how G ppa was very understanding and accommodative. About milk and government car and quarters. About courses, admission and fees. I think what made it very interesting for me was that it's a piece of amma's puzzle that I don't know about.
Phone calls with AJ's family
a day at the park with Z. Sunday walk and drive and chipotle.
mid work day lunch date.
going to the long ignored balcony and seeing pots with old dead plants show green spots of some other random plant or weed - it still made me happy. There was one with moss. moss green is a special happy.
an article about the Finnish lifestyle by visitfinland.
an article about how fundrise tried to help the SVB collapse before the government stepped in.
a Meghan Trainor song called 'I am your mother' - she and Kris Jenner both looked super sassy in it and I like the cheerfulness of her songs.
Sent my galz pics of Arjun das and Ashok selvan , both looking very hot. Some of them enjoyed a moment of appreciating hotness. This makes me happy because it's been a while ( like maybe years) since I thought anyone was hot. So having that feeling just makes me feel youthful again.
Sanook Soi delivered twice for some reason
a week of breastfeeding Z continuously because she had diarrhea , vomiting, night terrors and fever and refused solids. Very less sleep. Very less focus. The good side is I tried and she is better and we're hoping she's back to fully normal in few more days. It was stressful because life has been quite out of predictive and favorable patterns - I'd love structure - I'd love gym/ yoga, better weather and more walking and air, I'd love more focus and continuity at work.
Volunteered at the local farmers market and ran a raffle, won some tangerines in the course. Zaya was playing the beats on the table, spent time running around and joining conversations with random adults and listening in.
Weather's been interesting. We finally see bright warm sun, some of these days and it's refreshing. But rain does keep surprising us showing up once or twice every week. The flowers are all out. So many colors and patterns. Huge bulb pink flowers on a tree with fallen petals. Those neighborhood daisies. Smell of eucalyptus when the rain activates it. Those popping orange flowers. Lots of pinks and purples and mash up of colors. I think the butterflies season is coming.
I've been enjoying more sambar days lately and it's been good. the urulai kizhangu with it. And good ol' curd rice with a newly bought flavorful avakka oorga. I enjoy these moments and feel guilty about these pleasures of life mainly because of how I have set up other areas of life. I think life can be a lot more from inside me but I'm becoming that person that lives to eat.
Z's good appetite when she is not sick and her ability to eat by spoon - something she learnt all by herself with absolutely no attempts from our side. She just loves to learn to do things like the rest of us.
We did another big attempt at our back up option and possibly door to a new adventure.
Complan. Yep I bought complan. AJ said it's just the opposite of healthy. But you know what it's quite tasty. It's like having a milk based dessert everyday. AJ also bought this milk in a glass bottle and it's made like it was in the 70's apparently. Fat on the top, watery in the bottom. It's quite interesting, there's blobs on milk solids floating in it. So anyway this + that = fatplosion also taste. tee hee
The sad part of birthdays has been covered in the 'thoughts' section, now that that is out of the way, here's what I am happy about - Padma being the first to wish me :) my dad wishing me, my brother and S calling me in the morning to wish me, Rat's parents wishing me and asking me to celebrate. Vatchi perima, Anil :) and the few people on linkedin who thought it is good to send a wish even if it could be an unneccessary event.
Food
Cabbage, potato, semia, fried rice (2), black eyed peas, channa, chards, chole, podalanga
idlies and chutney, peerkanga thogayal, Mushroom masala with AJ, chapathis from AJ, potato poriyal and spinach poriyal. red chori and tofu scramble. Rat made some crispy airfried cauliflower S
Of course Rat's dosas and chapatahis and rice and yummy croissants.sambar and urulai masala.
Rat made amazing fish fried in coconut oil. I made some rasam - the combo was great. He put in way more effort making a fish kolambu but neither of us were able to appreciate that. vendakka sambar and chayote squash. purple mustard greens kadaiyal and potato murungai kathrikka stir fry. Veg puffs.
Outside: overpriced pho
southern spice buffet : my favorite is the ginger chicken, keera pappu and the rasam
halo halo and bread pudding at B Sweet
dindigul briyani
chocolate cake
Chipotle
full meals @ Southern Spice
crab rice and chicken curry noodle from Sanook Soi
Arth fusion indian food - paneer stuffed mushrooms, jackfruit masala
Farmers market - mint juice, chilly bean pupusa, tamale, rajma chawal, bloody Mary mocktail.
Infotainment
I fell for the bait and watched MH370 and Chris Rock. Chris Rock was talking about his disrespectful ways with women - he was saying things that were very captivatingly truthful, a different kind of charm, that you almost want to ignore how you actually feel about things. There were some pieces of truth. But overall gossipy shit - more garbage to my brain.
MH370 was also probably garbage to my brain because I was willingly allowing my brain to tune into the fact that many families have lost someone dear forever without closure. In therapy, what they say is seeking closure is not healthy. It keeps you closer to pain. It's easier to live if you can accept that some things don't have explanations and definitely no resolutions in ways you can sense at least. We are probably just the event of many random occurrences and can fall on either side of favorability,
Anyway I wanted to understand this event as a person with a hopefully reasonable brain. There are immediate assumptions (possibly biases), and there are the stories others give, maybe rumors all that need to be considered.
1. The pilot was a nutcase , had a simulator at home and wanted to take his life along with everyone else on the flight - it's surprising how easy it is to believe this just because of some initial judgements I made about the pilot and misinformed biases I had associated to the judgements. But also, Every seemingly good person can have a really dark side they hide (this I know from personal experience)
The other side of the argument was that folks around him thought he was man that wanted to live and it was normal for pilots to have simulators at home. He had a youtube channel that he used for useful purposes like fixing windows etc.
2. Inmarsat a British company, linked with US defense with a satellite found that the aircraft had signals that made it look like the flight reported from the north side of Malaysia, even though it was initially headed south. The data report also looked like the signals stopped for a bit and then started again. like it was switched off and then on.
Inmarsat could be independent. Could be a US ally. Could have received data that was hacked into.
3. The US and China had a war going on around some military bases around the South China. China was receiving amp that was sent through Malaysian airlines without scanning it. The US knew about it, sent 2 AWACs to the plane to redirect it or destroy it.
4. The Russians invaded Crimea in 2014. There were 3 folks linked to Russia on the flight in the first class area. In between the first class area and the cockpit is a opening to the control room where the flight can be shut off and controlled from and can control signals sent to inmarsat. The Russians have done something to similar effect over the Japan sea in history.
Russians were helping China.
Maybe Malaysia stopped and started the signals
5. There was another Malaysian airline that was shot closer to Ukraine a few months later.
6. Someone with ties to Russia (an Indiana Jones kinda looking nutcase planted into all of this) magically finds debris of the planes in certain shores, not one but so many of them after so many countries fail in their month long efforts of trying to find it. It feels like someone suddenly planted evidence to manage a narrative they were invested in.
7. There are airbases and so many countries involved that should have caught MH370 if it rerouted.
8. A woman on tomnod thinks she found images of debris on the South.
9. There is the theory that it landed in Afghanistan, when actually the route was made to look like it moved in another country.
All of this is just more data - possibilities. None of this is a sure understanding.
Other thoughts
feeling chemically sad some days. got to exercise, drive. and feeling actually sad about not spending enough quality time with Z even though she seems to be having a great time and day care - shows all signs of loving it there, and at home we're physically around her all the time. The mental connect part is making me sad.
2 days of roaming around for red tape that won't get done.
Z's rash.
Last day of the month - also happens to be my birthday. It can be a lonely time when days that you feel important about are allowed to slip by because there are always other things in life to focus on - like work and chores and doing more work after coming home (le Rathan). It also sucks that I want to express my disappointment but it's already Rathan's birthday right after mine and I just have to push the emotion away and focus on his birthday. The gurlz forgot too. Well, all I can learn from this is try remembering other people's birthdays and make the effort to send sincere wishes. Of course in the absence of things, what does happen shines brighter. And that will be added to the happy section. UPDATE* -Day has been saved by a call for lunch plan.
In March, I want
get much better health-wise, get back into a schedule of good habits, find good inspiration.
- prevention strategy for sickness - zinc, vit d, cleanliness, day care plan.
- Nanny option
- Appa plan
- tracking
- tweak morning schedule
- cook / clean,
- exercise - yoga / intermediate swim / ymca
- more ymca / more Rat ymca
- work - AWS progress to finish all data pulls in mx3 and start DW for redshift / fraud
- other work stuff
- read - women / DIA / udacity
- Z time - swim / Z - explore
- Z - tweak possibilities - read / week day bonding habits / program
- gauge economy for work and housing
- Calmness and relax time - every day.
- driving
- forem networking
- level up training
- outside time
- snowboard
- CA / perm / tax / Rat docs - DL / passport
- fbi / medical / imm
- roth in plan conversion
- bright horizons exploration for pet care and child care
- library card, return books
Emotionally, I want progress for everyone who lost their jobs, I want the world to overcome war and compassion-illiteracy, I want love and grateful journeys for everyone who is feeling like they've missed out on big things in life, I want new beginnings and new dreams for those that feel like they've failed in some dreams. I want everyone to meet their potential.
Mar 8 - Holi
Mar 26 - Wyatt's birthday
Mar 31st and Apr 1st - our birthdays / tiato for dinner
konmari old photos, one video.
appa plan.
housing. investment. car
Rat's docs renewal
If war, follow news, track tickets, intermediate places to go to with indian citizenship. documents / money. Dheeru and S. Scooter. alternate work arrangements. centimental stuff - saree, photos. laptop.
