Dear Ananya
I know how much you like your letters to yourself before going on a vacation. Last time you did this it was a two months vacation - this time it's only 4 days and day 1 is already over, nevertheless I wanted to write this letter to you.
Feb has been sort of out of plan. The brain likes structure and focus. You actually did okay except you did not feel great in spite of doing things because of the uncontrollable inconsistency.
In this letter I'm going to tell you about
- all the things you did and are waiting for you when you go home.
- your vacation - breaking out of the mold.
- your intention when you get back from the vacation.
So things you did and intentions:
1. Clean and organized
Your home is a welcoming place - floors are broomed and mopped. Mats are laundered. Blankets and bed covers are laundered. The sinks have been cleaned. Even the dishwasher and laptop has been cleaned.
Once you get back you can clean the counters a bit, maybe sanitize scooter's bed but other than that your home is a clean slate.For konmari - there's laptop, photos, media , bags , meds and electronics. They're not a priority but things you can get to when you have time.
2. Wake up and self discipline
I would like for you to have a great morning. Waking up earlier and starting your day earlier. Working with Z.
Bathe. Breakfast. scooter walk. Z care. Water. Exercise. Intention setting for the day. Sleeping early.
3. Work schedule
With returning to office happening now, as things are now, we have to prep for three days at day care and days at office. Travel and adjusting to not being home. Scooter goes with Rat. And some days we have to let Scooter be home. Or find out a different setup for daycare.
Work time is to learn, push things for the team, define what your skills are. Practicing focus. Not practicing distraction and letting it interfere.
Posture.
Driving.
Intentional breaks. Walk.
4. Nutrition
It seems like the time after work is when we get to cook. Z needs better help with nutrition. Consistency is key.
Less sugar, chocolates and ice cream.
5. Exercise
Self practice. 3 days a week for me, 3 days a week for Rat. Keep trying. Schedule weekly.
6. Cleaning
Daily. Weekends.
7. Collaboration with consistency. Focus and simplicity.
8. Housing. CA
9. Appa.
10. Z plans
Pointers
Clean. Cook. Feed. nutrition.
Engage. Get help.
Exercise. Routines.
Work. Focus. Study.
EQ. Balance.
CA. Perm.
Finance. Housing. Car.
Appa
Research day care. Relations with day care and people
Career. Economy. Immigration
Laptop. Dining cover.
Tax. shred.
Vacation updates :
Day 1:
Day 1 on the train was a little bit of stepping out of comfort zone. We spoke to three pairs of older people. One of them was a daughter-dad who traveled once every year from Arizona. The other two were older couples - one, Russian and other from Arkansas. Everyone was very friendly. The Russian couple were so nice to Zaya, she just enjoyed the lady's presence. I thought she must be young and childless and wanting to have one. Turned out she was a grandma! To three children and mother to three daughters. She took Zaya and gently stroked her hair and Z just loved it. That woman had some gracefulness that she could pause the entire world just to be present fully with a baby. It was beautiful. The couple from Arkansas was in our neighbor roomette and let us know in advance not to worry about baby crying, they had 15 grand children and are used to it all. The dad and daughter said they lived in the Arizona dessert , the calmness of life there and they seemed especially fond of the lakes - they were excited about lakes and the trips to national forests they took. One train ride they mentioned was from sf to Chicago. Also next to el paso some caverns. And Zion also. The word he used - drop dead beautiful :) .Oh and the other dad and lil daughter who lived in San Diego. People were very friendly.
The restaurant in the train has good food and since you inevitably share the table with others, you have to break out of introvertness and open up a little bit to new stories and energies.
I was too expressive of the fact that these houses we saw smack in the middle of nowhere was eery. I suddenly realized I might be talking to people who come from such places.
The vast green fields the farms, the deers and cows, the skies that looked like really thinly stretched cotton candy. They all made me realize that just as I think that others are in bubbles it was possibly true that I too was in a bubble, not knowing anything about farms and soil and animals and living in standalone houses. About standing in silence and being into breezes and having favorite trees, treasured patches of grass possibly.
I was especially fascinated by the many viewing of estuaries. Out of nowhere we were seeing rivers join the ocean from drains under the road. Our trains so close to the waves. So fascinating. And the engineering marvel of laying tracks and tunnels under mountains.
Airbnb is comfortable. I like minimalistic spacious apartments where the place is focused on just few simple things - eat, sleep etc. Freshly laundered blankets.
Called M. She was glowing and moving. Z hard a lot to complain about us to Madhu as she patiently listened :)
Half a funny movie called 'You people's caught on the bed and then dozing off.
Day 2.
Woke up at 5. It's 9. Still on the bed. Used the time to reflect on things and clarify essential thoughts to myself. Cleaned up my phone by deleting useless stuff and backed up things. Now time to get ready, pick up the car ,eat and go to the imax here.
The dome imax was trippy. The first 5 minutes I was so stressed and gripper to the seat cuz it felt like I would fall off the seat and into the steep slope downward. I was so surprised because Z was at ease through most of the 45 minute documentary on the prairies wetland and the journey of the migratory birds. If yesterday I felt I was in a bubble looking at the journey of these birds reiterated just how much I don't know about the world. They as a species have made this journey for thousands of years. Some birds trace the stars, some birds are able to see the magnetic field and some are just taught by their parents. The ecosystem of marsh, worms, birds and seas and how important these are for human life. How farming can change the nature of the soil. How California which was once a wetland has lost its diversity of species and fertility of the land.
At many points I felt like I was being lifted , zooming out of the earth, sometimes elevating with the birds and it was fascinating how much the brain can believe through the effects on the eye. The scene where this tiny yellow bird the weight of three paper sheets makes it's journey across the ocean in storm. It was heroic.
We ate at the square market , then went to the computer history museum. The only thing I enjoyed was this quiz on finding what storage device the music was playing on - it was a Norah jones song. And another place for the kids. A lot of people were fascinated by punch cards and vaccum tubes and typewriters - I just realized I'm not really in that tribe.
Then, badam milk at chaat bavan and the warmth of Prateek and Ayushi's house and sharing our pregnancy journeys. Z and N were cute together.
Day 3.
Madurai Idli kadai. J's place.
I love her ways of pushing forward in spaces that are rare for women.
I feel sad for the limitations of her life and that of many of the folks close to me who are unable to take some journeys that are so meaningful to them. I pray for the best.
I leave with inspiration and empathy.
Day 4.
Train journey back. Sowmya call.
Back to focus
I'm back from vacation. So many things on my brain. I know I can't control many things. I can only take decisions for the current situation. So here are the things on my head:
Russia / war
Lovely people around me and their pursuit of happiness
Return to office
Day care / gym / commute
Career, learning
Network, managerial, layoff plan
food , cleaning
Perm, CA, house, appa
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