What was vacation for?
2. A break from the monotony, a space to think about life
3. Family. Zaya spending time with them
4. Good food, exploration, culture
5. Shopping and fashion. Workshops. Chennai life.
6. Economy of things
7. Events - Diwali, birthday, calling people.
8. People - the common, the money, the close ones, the hard ones.
9. The expectations.
10. The chores. The learnings.
So how did it go?
I spent one week in October at work and the last three weeks has been just vacation. It feels nice, soulful like a good meal was prepared and relished. Three weeks had so much more happen than probably most year. Tomorrow I'll be going to Madurai and work will also start. So before that happens here's what Chennai was like based off my list above.
Appa, home and Zaya.
Appa had renovated the house , put in an AC , got us a cook and made life so comfortable for us. He is old and was still being active for us. He would go buy some snacks, made home coffee, some days he would go and get special coffee from nearby.
The house itself is an experience, the beautiful garden, the urban-rural mix , the amazing neighbors who kept reassuring me they always have their eyes out for appa, the little kids my dad talks to.
Everything is accessible. It's the best place for appa, and I was super happy and comfortable with him too. Chitappa is nearby , it was great to go visit them easily.
Zaya enjoyed her time here, so many people to see, so many sounds and sights when she travels, so many big houses to explore. Her thatha and she have a unique chemistry. She always wanted to go outdoors. She refused to be spoon fed these days - she only eats what she can feed herself, babbles and says bye to everyone and everything and in between every few steps. She met all the people I met, some kids, her cousins , uncle's, saw temples , goats , cows, dogs and of course appa's daily ritual of feeding a little gang of crows, squirrels, wood peckers and koels. She points fingers, screams, escapes to the garden, take random things and acts like she is on a phone call. In her own amazing way, she has now learnt to walk up and down the stairs.
AJ felt good with the FIL-SIL love , felt like.
She loves music and rocks her body up and down every time music plays
She crawls to her thatha's puja room sits next to him and rings the bell.
It's hard to sit and have conversations with appa, he doesn't like that much but being along with him is meaningful to him , his joy is in being able to spend time and be there in his own way.
Chennai life and workshops.
I had made a list of places to see - temple , beach, ECR, restaurants. a bunch of workshops to attend.
I attended three workshops so far, a 5 day yoga workshop, a 1 day pole workshop and a dance workshop. All of it was awesome. All of it showed me my limits and abilities and I enjoy that process so much. It was surreal being in the same room as Instagram celebrities I had followed across the ocean. Kesariya was tough and showed me how much more nimble one can be. Yoga was awesome, as always. Pole was surprising - I was ready to go fail but surprisingly it was much better than I thought it would go. The instructor Anusha is someone I felt great sharing space with. She's a self made, funny person and a true hustler. She's inspiring. I felt like I could find my tribe here in Chennai.
I wanted to visit a bunch of places most of which I could not. But here's the ones I did see and enjoyed
- The view from Accord, tiny people walking over the bridge, the parrots in the house near accord, the fireflies, a small little temple, the terrace sheds on top of apartments where people live. Food at accord was great.
- the morning walks on the bridge and the streets around Accord.
- breakfast at Accord is great! Just such a variety and a great taste.
- dinner at Taj, Rat treated us, felt overpriced and good at the same time.
- just going over flyovers and streets and watching familiar places.
- Lady Andal school and Adyar main road - kesariya events.
- IIT / OAT
- Forum mall, phoenix mall
- the last day before leaving to madurai, thanks to Anil I got to visit the kapaleeswarar temple and marina beach . The huge pond is so magnificent! This was on my list to see and the universe conspired it to make it happen. Marina had a beautiful murmuring of birds.
- Karpagambal mess.
- food at ponnusamy, ss halal, moghul Briyani. Home cooked food was amazing. I thought I'd eat lot of non veg but surprisingly the veg was what I was going for mostly. Adai aviyal , just the simple idly and chutney.
- Shopping - I did a bunch of Diwali shopping. It felt good being in the trial room wearing new clothes that were making me feel nice. Two pairs of earrings. Bunch of comfortable shoes. Kurtas. Make up products. Bindis and eye pencils. From meeting people, Zaya got sooooo many dresses. I loved all of the stuff I bought. We got an umbrella stroller that we took Zaya around in.
Bought a few things for the house. Lovely cushions covers, a purifier, dusting mats, a hand vacuum, a vessel hanger, some lights and fixtures I had no time to set up. A place for Zaya to sit and eat. We got a beautiful murugan for appa's birthday. Bunch of jewels from perima and cousins.
People - Anil, culture, learnings
Of all the people I met, the most soulful space was at the workshop and with Anil.
It was awesome that Anil and I had time coinciding during our visits. Anil has traveled so many countries - 22 to be precise and he's learnt about life and not being in the box. He is free and true to his heart. He said he quit his job twice, taken one way tickets to places and spent two years learning drums and jamming with a band. He has hiked glaciers, been to Africa , volunteered with kids. He has done soul searching. My little thambi inspires me to be true to myself.
It was a warm time talking about partners, the Indian culture, how art here is so beautiful and so humble, how there are many annoyances here but it's very important to break out of the circuit and be here for a while.
We went to mylapore and he told me how he loves the vibe of the place and it was great seeing these places from his eyes. He said he finds meaning in building these rituals of going to certain places with his parents so he can connect with them in things they like to do together.
His soul shines through with how he see art, how he is with people and babies. I'm glad I got to meet him.
Apa - appa has a schedule, his puja, his feeding birds , taking care of the plants and it's incredible how disciplined he is and how much memory he has when reciting his pujas.
Chitappa and Akila Akka and their happy ways.
Shailu, Ajay and Zaya's pretty little cousins. She loved how they dressed up and was touching their cute little ornaments.
Met Padma, very briefly. I wish I could have spent more time :(
I got to meet bapens. With the kids. It was too less, felt like there was so much more to nurture there.
Met Santhu and gowri briefly.
Neighbours thiagarajan uncle and wife were especially sweet.
Met Charu perima, Vatchi perima , giri peripa , Deepu Anna at appa's event, Kumar mama , rathan. It was brief and I am glad atleast this was possible
Met AJ's cousins - Rohit and Zefra - people with great lifestyles - we were in zombie mode aka jet lag and it was good to hear about them and get to meet them and how adventurous they were. Met Nikhith and Shruti - great energy - the feeling of a close knit family.
Our cook and our house help are both hustlers - tough people in tough situations standing on their own legs and taking pride in who they are and defining boundaries :)
Met Sowmya's parents.
I spoke over a call to someone (and one more) I had a complicated relationship with. In a sense, it was a big moment in life. So much hardships that people have to go through, and so much more to learn about, listen to and help unload.
how easily young girls come to a baby and hold her - no permission asked. Morning walkers stop and talk to the baby.
I was thinking I'd meet my beloved VIT friends but it was quite surprising how hard it was to meet with people I spoke to on an everyday basis.
The most important person silently behind all this is Ajey Rathan, he supported me all the times I was outside for classes , traveled with me when I had to get things done, heard me out and kept telling me I was doing good every time I was stressed and doubtful. Like always.
Diwali. Appa's birthday
Diwali was about food , crackers and people. It was fast paced , loud , almost overwhelming - told me how less adaptable I've become.
Expectations - the good and the bad. The learnings.
When you're away from your homeland for so long and most of what you hear is through the echo chamber of social media , a lot of assumptions are blown out of proportion. So being in touch with the truth is a great learning process
Caste, religion - this is amplified a lot and you want to question these a lot from the distance, but when you are actually here, you see that people happily coexist, respect each other, form beautiful bonds. People like their identities and rituals and don't overthink the history behind it. It might just be good to revel in the differences, the healthy competition in differences and only have to step up and say no when things are imposed on to you. Until then, we don't have to overthink these, and learn to smile from soul to soul.
The dust, traffic and heat - yes these are hard but it was surprisingly easy to adapt to after you get through the sickness and all that.
Money - My uncle told me the philosophy behind supply and demand here. The consumer wants to pay less and get more. The producer wants to charge high and give little. Between this satisfaction is lost, and you are always wondering if you are being fooled. On one side, you realize all of this is in INR and people can afford to have good days with money. On the other side you realize things are getting costlier in India, sometimes almost comparable to the US.
After seeing how so many scams originate from India you tend to look at everyone suspiciously, but for the most part people are sincere and authentic.
On one side because of money you see how people are focused on money and sometimes lose out on professional delivery, but on the other side you see people step up and help , show deep character and soul. You see auto annas give you inside info so you learn the city, you see drivers that tell you how not to get scammed, a random person sees so many autos cancel on you and goes out of the way to catch an auto for you and explains to the auto the landmarks that only the locals know. The sales person at the cosmetics shop who did my entire makeup so I could buy stuff from them and look good for a function nearby.
With all the differences you see in the culture , there are so many sub cultures and you can always find your tribe.
Richness, oldness, the diversity - This country, these cities are so old that there's so much richness. Every street has 5 coffee shops, almost everything can be found in a 10 minute ride. The trees, the buildings, the temples, churches and mosques - the number of people who are able to openly follow their traditions without feeling like they are different - it's great.
Art and brain - Art is intricate and humble.
Fashion and judging - fashion is just a little more sophisticated when you go to a traditional party or a western one. And the judging is annoying too - what people think you should wear etc.
Animals of the land - Ants, crows, cows, goats , lizards , rats - they take space with us. We don't take their space and shoo them away.
During the workshops I learnt just how much my brain needs to adapt for a dance form, so much to stretch there. I also learnt how our body stores our stresses and how when we release these stresses from our shoulders or hips, some people even cry - letting go all those muscle memories of stress. The dancers - they are free people.
Another thing yoga trains you is to step into discomfort and staying there with curiosity and making space for yourself with breath instead of stress. I am convinced that people who do yoga are most likely to make it successful in life too.
I learnt more about appa and how good this place is for him and what more he would like in his life - it's hard for me to get things out of his mouth so this was good learning and important inputs to my life.
It's hard to feel lonely here , the other side of this is that you will feel peer pressure.
Neighbors connect. I never thought language was a huge deal for me especially since most of my communication is in English for so many years, but maybe it was easier to connect when people spoke in Tamil. It was nice and so natural to say anna and akka to every person I met.
Traveling and jet lag. It's tough.
Some folks think money should flow like a river and should not stagnate. Some philosophies talk about how you should pay attention. Both are interesting.
Event Planning - Practicalities, stretches
Food
Cake
Return gifts
MC
Music / Sound
The economy and the expenses
Event planning
Shopping
Autos and Olas
What about life?
Chennai things next time I come.
