Day 1:
I came into a super clean room. It had drizzled outside. A new baby in my hand in a nice clean room and birds chirping. Uncomfortably perfect scenario - everything was calm, weather was gloomy and I was settling into what next months could look like - I was envisioning myself just sitting on bed holding baby next few months and with all the calm of that situation I was somewhat sad. The calm only stayed for a while.
Day 1 I tried moving around and cleaning things. Apartment was both messy and unclean and I was overconfident.
Day 2
It's 3.18 am - day 2 at home and this is already an indicator of how terribly I'm treating time management and priorities - writing my second post to get thoughts out when I should be sleeping.
But also to contrast that with how I always give myself less credit than I deserve , even with the bad priorities , there is a baby lying on top of me right now getting comfort and sleeping better because he is physiologically connected to me even as I am just getting started on a journey of getting to know him.
Gonna sleep now but will update tomorrow.
It's now 5.41 and I have still not slept.
Welcome to my life as a second time mom.
It's almost 6am and I'm going to get started on sleep hopefully. There's a lot to talk about day 1.
Day 3 and 4.
I am resting through the night. Ajey has taken over.
I moved to formula and baby looks better and calmer. I am feeding rarely to prevent mastitis and formula has been a game changer.
I have no bladder control and peed once or twice in the floor for rat to clean up at night. Now I am regaining control. I am getting better and going frequently to restroom.
He is :
Feeding
Diaper changing
Making formula
Sanitizing bottles
Cleaned the rest room
Put things away
Did laundry
Brought Amazon shipped items.
Helping my dressing
Picking up Zaya
Doing night shift.
I am :
Healing, monitoring bp, taking meds.
Sleeping better
Trying to get him a nap in the morning.
Ordering a few things on Amazon that can save some energy
My physical issues.
- lifting leg to wear underwear.
- lifting leg to the bed
- trying to avoid stitches from tearing.
- sitting on sofa / bed
- lifting baby while seated.
- clots / stool
- swollen fundus / mastitis
Rats physical issues
- lack of sleep
- knee issues.
Other issues -
Zaya is delaying going to school / sleep etc because of extra tantrums and Dad is accommodating limited energy to that
Dad missed naps
I can see things not in place and yet not do anything about it. More dependent than I m used to.
Nanny canceled. Looking for new one.
Broke bassinet. Returning items.
Next steps for me:
- continue to eat / meds / rest / heal / talk to doc
- continue dressing / baths
- improve hydration
- start on red tape / finding nanny.
- prioritize Ajey sleep
- try to diaper change once / try giving formula
- find a comfortable position to feed baby.
- find ways to help Rat sleep
- find ways to manage Zaya so she can leave to school in time
- be less OCD
- figure out robot vacuums
- automate nutrition
Next steps for Rat :
- return items / buy things
- sleep / nap
- find ways to simplify the hectic schedule
Physical changes
- one night I had a pulsing feeling in the back. Almost like a pain but a sudden relief after that not sure if because of pain meds I was able to move leg around and stretch for the first time in ways I've not done in several months. It felt like a release.
- the stool clearing has been fascinating , how much the body holds.
Ergonomy
- need a small height step stool with wheel and handle to walk around.
- need taller toilets with faucets
- need showers with taps at human standing level
- need washer / dryer in same level
- need elevator
- restroom with door for shower - not bath.
- sofa with automation for both leg down and leg up
Day 5.
Rat had hectic day 4.
Tomorrow I want to wake up , change dressing , brush , eat BF and meds and BP in time so I can help with Zaya a bit
I want him to drop z in time and come back and sleep for 2 hours before lunch. In this time I have to feed formula / soothe baby and try diaper once.
Once he has his nap, we figure out lunch.
I have to continue dressing changes regularly.
Then he can step out for outside chores and again I figure out diaper/formula etc hopefully.
Give him some time to relax. Maybe do some red tape. Maybe some hackathon videos while baby is feeding etc.
Try to give him one more afternoon nap.
Day 5 went mostly as planned. We had a first half that went as planned, that we actually sat down to watch a movie and that did not turn out to be good for Rat. He was still doing chores through the movie and after the movie and ended up getting to bed, tired. The second nap did not happen.
Happy side, I found the waffle pillow and it helps so much. I pumped. I tried to change diaper and feed formula. With dressing, sometimes I'm able to do it myself but sometimes I am needing help. The legs feel freer certain times but not so certain times.
I was 140 before pregnancy, 180 before birth and I am 165, one week after birth. I still have a lot of water wait and the uterus is still shrinking so it looks like I have to get to week 4-6 to get a better idea of postpartum baseline.
The highlight of yesterday was when I was telling Ajey I'm trying to improve but still needing help with dressing and he said that's what paternity leave is for - so just ask. It was very generous for him to say that. He has always been a giver and of course he does adjust and try to protect himself but just always starts with being ready to give himself even when he's already doing much.
A rock solid man.
Day 6.
Started with a bath by myself, changed diaper, fed etc but baby's been a constant pooper so I guess I'm not helpful enough, relatively.
There's a lot of sanitizing bottles and parts that Ajey is doing now.
I was able to move more and put things away at home.
We are trying to decide the finances of nanny and cleaners now that our nanny seems not the best match for us.
For rest of today what I want is
- Rat sleep
I came into a super clean room. It had drizzled outside. A new baby in my hand in a nice clean room and birds chirping. Uncomfortably perfect scenario - everything was calm, weather was gloomy and I was settling into what next months could look like - I was envisioning myself just sitting on bed holding baby next few months and with all the calm of that situation I was somewhat sad. The calm only stayed for a while.
Day 1 I tried moving around and cleaning things. Apartment was both messy and unclean and I was overconfident.
Day 2
It's 3.18 am - day 2 at home and this is already an indicator of how terribly I'm treating time management and priorities - writing my second post to get thoughts out when I should be sleeping.
But also to contrast that with how I always give myself less credit than I deserve , even with the bad priorities , there is a baby lying on top of me right now getting comfort and sleeping better because he is physiologically connected to me even as I am just getting started on a journey of getting to know him.
Gonna sleep now but will update tomorrow.
It's now 5.41 and I have still not slept.
Welcome to my life as a second time mom.
It's almost 6am and I'm going to get started on sleep hopefully. There's a lot to talk about day 1.
Day 3 and 4.
I am resting through the night. Ajey has taken over.
I moved to formula and baby looks better and calmer. I am feeding rarely to prevent mastitis and formula has been a game changer.
I have no bladder control and peed once or twice in the floor for rat to clean up at night. Now I am regaining control. I am getting better and going frequently to restroom.
He is :
Feeding
Diaper changing
Making formula
Sanitizing bottles
Cleaned the rest room
Put things away
Did laundry
Brought Amazon shipped items.
Helping my dressing
Picking up Zaya
Doing night shift.
I am :
Healing, monitoring bp, taking meds.
Sleeping better
Trying to get him a nap in the morning.
Ordering a few things on Amazon that can save some energy
My physical issues.
- lifting leg to wear underwear.
- lifting leg to the bed
- trying to avoid stitches from tearing.
- sitting on sofa / bed
- lifting baby while seated.
- clots / stool
- swollen fundus / mastitis
Rats physical issues
- lack of sleep
- knee issues.
Other issues -
Zaya is delaying going to school / sleep etc because of extra tantrums and Dad is accommodating limited energy to that
Dad missed naps
I can see things not in place and yet not do anything about it. More dependent than I m used to.
Nanny canceled. Looking for new one.
Broke bassinet. Returning items.
Next steps for me:
- continue to eat / meds / rest / heal / talk to doc
- continue dressing / baths
- improve hydration
- start on red tape / finding nanny.
- prioritize Ajey sleep
- try to diaper change once / try giving formula
- find a comfortable position to feed baby.
- find ways to help Rat sleep
- find ways to manage Zaya so she can leave to school in time
- be less OCD
- figure out robot vacuums
- automate nutrition
Next steps for Rat :
- return items / buy things
- sleep / nap
- find ways to simplify the hectic schedule
Physical changes
- one night I had a pulsing feeling in the back. Almost like a pain but a sudden relief after that not sure if because of pain meds I was able to move leg around and stretch for the first time in ways I've not done in several months. It felt like a release.
- the stool clearing has been fascinating , how much the body holds.
Ergonomy
- need a small height step stool with wheel and handle to walk around.
- need taller toilets with faucets
- need showers with taps at human standing level
- need washer / dryer in same level
- need elevator
- restroom with door for shower - not bath.
- sofa with automation for both leg down and leg up
Day 5.
Rat had hectic day 4.
Tomorrow I want to wake up , change dressing , brush , eat BF and meds and BP in time so I can help with Zaya a bit
I want him to drop z in time and come back and sleep for 2 hours before lunch. In this time I have to feed formula / soothe baby and try diaper once.
Once he has his nap, we figure out lunch.
I have to continue dressing changes regularly.
Then he can step out for outside chores and again I figure out diaper/formula etc hopefully.
Give him some time to relax. Maybe do some red tape. Maybe some hackathon videos while baby is feeding etc.
Try to give him one more afternoon nap.
Day 5 went mostly as planned. We had a first half that went as planned, that we actually sat down to watch a movie and that did not turn out to be good for Rat. He was still doing chores through the movie and after the movie and ended up getting to bed, tired. The second nap did not happen.
Happy side, I found the waffle pillow and it helps so much. I pumped. I tried to change diaper and feed formula. With dressing, sometimes I'm able to do it myself but sometimes I am needing help. The legs feel freer certain times but not so certain times.
I was 140 before pregnancy, 180 before birth and I am 165, one week after birth. I still have a lot of water wait and the uterus is still shrinking so it looks like I have to get to week 4-6 to get a better idea of postpartum baseline.
The highlight of yesterday was when I was telling Ajey I'm trying to improve but still needing help with dressing and he said that's what paternity leave is for - so just ask. It was very generous for him to say that. He has always been a giver and of course he does adjust and try to protect himself but just always starts with being ready to give himself even when he's already doing much.
A rock solid man.
Day 6.
Started with a bath by myself, changed diaper, fed etc but baby's been a constant pooper so I guess I'm not helpful enough, relatively.
There's a lot of sanitizing bottles and parts that Ajey is doing now.
I was able to move more and put things away at home.
We are trying to decide the finances of nanny and cleaners now that our nanny seems not the best match for us.
For rest of today what I want is
- Rat sleep
- laundry
- assemble bassinet
- decision on cleaner / nanny
- ssn / birth / passport
- maternity office stuff
- some AI / some ML
- pump
- feed / change diaper
- get Rat to bed early
- dress
- discuss Zaya plan
We have a lot of other things to do and it may help to have some of the routine stuff taken care of.
What actually got done.
- Arvind helped with bassinet
- Z and Baby got fed. I do some feeds , some diaper changes. Pumped once.
- baby had blood so Rat went to emergency and his sleep got sacrificed. Baby is fine.
- they did some Costco shopping.
- I did all of my dressings today and had some movements.
- tried to get Rat to sleep for a few hours.
- Rat sanitized , I am getting the hang of putting the pump parts together.
- we got a few quotes for nanny
- cleaned the home a bit.
I am tired, my legs are sore. I did over exert myself today - don't know why I do this as soon as I feel better.
Lots left for tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow is more restful and there is progress with red tape.
Day 7 - end of week 1:
I still have not done any red tape, no nanny/cleaner decision, no masseuse, no AI/ML.
What I did do though was
- doing my dressing/ cleaning myself
- pumped
- tried bf
- had Nooshin over for dinner and had a good dinner
- gave Rat a few hours nap in the morning.
- rested well at night and got a nice nap.
- started feeling better at the restroom with lifting my leg and getting into th bath tub etc - maybe it's just the Tylenol.
Arvind helped clean up for dinner.
What Rat did was
- had a hard night bending and feeding and changing diaper
- one nap
- lunch with brother
- R's doc appt
- laundry
- Nooshin dinner pickup
- sanitized bottles and pump
- played some games
He did not get his night nap that he needs to function and has back pain. But he is more worried about not having me time / game time.
I wish he could prioritize his second nap.
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